


My Betelgeuse (I Myself Am Strange and Unusual)

by theaes



Category: Pitch Perfect (Movies)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/F, Loss of Parent(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-05
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2019-02-28 16:20:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13275264
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theaes/pseuds/theaes
Summary: The one where Chloe is mourning over the memory of her father's death, but Beca won't let her be sad for long.





	My Betelgeuse (I Myself Am Strange and Unusual)

"Space is a wind that does not blow  
On Betelgeuse and time – oh time – is a bird,  
Whose wings have never stirred  
The golden avenues of leaves  
On Betelgeuse."  
-Humbert Wolfe

\----------------------------------------------------------

The heat coming off the wet towel releases some of the pent-up frustration Chloe has been hiding away for days now. She presses it to her face again, lightly this time, in the hope that it will take some of the red puffiness out of her tired eyes.

It’s been almost 10 years since she lost her dad, the anniversary of that day slowly creeping up on her. Around this time every year she begins to recall the little things about him. She smells his cologne on her towel after a shower, hears his voice during rehearsals and remembers the way he used to sing to her, sees his eyes in every stranger she passes.

It’s all too much. Her sadness over the years has built into anger. She wasn’t mad at him directly, she began to hate the world that took him away from her.

She finds herself back in the bedroom she has shared with her roommate for nearly 3 years. She curls up into a ball on the bed, hoping she falls asleep despite her pounding headache that has resulted from her crying.

Looking up at the stars on her ceiling, she remembers the first time he took her camping when she was 9. That night the stars had been brighter than she had ever seen. Her dad followed her to the shoreline by their campsite, where they sat for a moment in silence and marveled at the night sky.

_You see that one ladybug? The line of three bright stars straight ahead. That’s Orion, one of the strongest, fiercest hunters ever known. He took down monsters and beasts and was the hero of all the people in the world._

_What’s that bright star called on his shoulder?_

_That’s Betelgeuse my dear._

_Beetlejuice? Like the movie?_

_A little bit different than the movie, bug. Betelgeuse is one of the biggest stars in the galaxy, it’s probably twice the size of the sun, but it’s so big and old, than any day it could die out._

There was a long silence as Chloe thought about the beautiful star one day burning out. How could something so amazingly beautiful just die?

_Dad, why does Betelgeuse have to die? Why can’t it just stay around forever?_

_Well ladybug, I don’t know. That’s just what happens._

Her dad could tell Chloe wasn’t satisfied with his answer.

_But you know what? When Betelgeuse does burn out, it’ll leave a shining light behind, and it will be the brightest thing in the sky, even brighter than the moon. And it will stick around for years, as a sort of goodbye to the universe._

_And then what?_

_And then that light will leave too, but we’ll always remember it._

At 10 years old, Chloe could recite a hundred stars in the galaxy.

_Bellatrix, Meissa, Alnitak, Alnilam, Mintaka, Rigel, Betelgeuse!_

_Very good, ladybug!_

 

The door to her room opens and Chloe is pulled back to reality. She watches as Beca puts her bags down and collapses onto her own bed on the other side of the room.

“MmmmmmmMMMMMMMMM” Beca groans from across the room, still lying face-down on her bed.

“Nice to see you too, Becs.”

“Do you ever talk to someone and think how easy it would be to just kick them square in the balls?” She says rolling over to face the redhead.

“Your secretary again?”

“I don’t know why I even hired this guy when I would probably save my time and energy by doing his work by myself.” Beca says as she rolls off the bed and walks over to her laptop and sits down at the desk. She begins opening her emails and every now and then making remarks like “Why can’t people just figure it out for themselves?” and “This isn’t even my problem, why are you emailing me?”

After nearly two hours of relative silence between the two, Beca finishes her emails and turns her chair towards Chloe.

“Hey, I know we’ve gotten take-out every day this week, but on my ride home I saw that Tsang’s Chinese place just reopened after they arrested that chef, so I was thinking maybe we could order out.”

Chloe only catches the last half of what the brunette is saying, her mind hazy and preoccupied by her racing thoughts. So she gives Beca a smile and hopes she isn’t waiting for some kind of an answer. She’s relieved when Beca turns her chair back around and picks up the phone to call in their order, which is apparently saved to memory.

It’s funny how Beca has these little things that she does without really trying. Like knowing Chloe’s order at all of her favorite restaurants, and making her coffee just the way she likes it (with cream, two sugars, and a spoonful of honey). Chloe thinks how nice it is to have someone take the time to know these things.

Beca puts the phone down and walks over to Chloe’s side of the room, landing on the edge of her bed.

“Hey Chlo?”

“Mm-hm?”

Beca pauses, thinking of what to say. She’s grown a lot over the years since they first met, she’s less afraid to be vulnerable or talk about feelings. Freshman-year Beca would squirm at any mention of emotions past contempt.

“I know this time of year can be tough for you. I don’t want to pry or make you feel the need to explain anything, just know that I’m here. You can talk to me.”

Chloe looks up at her, without any idea what to say. She locks eyes with the brunette and feels hot tears glide down her face.

Chloe isn’t usually one to hide her emotions, but with Beca she knows that she’s built a wall up to keep certain things inside. She’s afraid to tell Beca how she really feels, and it’s moments like this where a slight nudge could send her wall crashing down.

“Becs…” Chloe stops, knowing that nothing she could say would be able to describe what she’s been put through.

“You don’t have to say anything, that’s not what I’m asking. I just want you to know you have me.”

Beca reaches up and glides her thumb across Chloe’s cheek, cupping her face and wiping away the tears which have seemed to stop. It’s not the farthest thing from romantic, but Chloe knows that Beca is just trying to comfort her.

Beca knows that Chloe always feels better when the brunette touches her, whether it be a hug or the stroke of her arm. It’s a sign of affection that provides her with some solace.

Beca knows all of that, why else would she do it?

Beca knows that as she pulls Chloe into a hug, it’s to soothe her friend. That rubbing her back this way is purely to express her support.

Chloe dips her head into the brunette’s shoulder, smelling her hair and feeling the soft fabric of the shirt she’s wearing. It brings her away from reality for a moment.

It brings her peace.

————————————————————————————————————

May 5th. Chloe used to think of it as “anti-Christmas” because it was the day where instead of getting things, she had the best thing in her life taken away from her.

Chloe wakes up with the kind of headache only 8 shots of vodka can give you. Except that she hasn’t been drinking and the only thing causing her pain is the amount of water she’s lost through her tears.

She walks to the bathroom and fills a Dixie cup with water to get rid of her morning breath. She sees her bloodshot eyes in the mirror before she turns to walk out. It’s 8:30 in the morning, much later than she would normally get up, even on a Saturday, but Chloe knows she didn’t fall asleep until at least 2 in the morning, so she gives herself a free pass for her late start.

She walks downstairs into the living room to find Beca propped up in the corner of the sofa with a blanket and a cup of coffee, watching the news.

“Morning sleepyhead. I made you coffee, it’s on the counter.” Beca says upon seeing the redhead walk down the stairs.

Chloe walks into the kitchen, and not only finds her favorite mug filled to the brim with her favorite hazelnut coffee, but also a small stack of blueberry pancakes and raspberries next to the cup. She looks around, knowing that this is Beca’s doing by the mountain of dirty dishes left in the sink. She smiles down to the floor as Beca walks in behind her.

“So I was thinking we should probably run some errands, we haven’t gone grocery shopping in a week and I think my body will collapse if I eat takeout one more time.” Beca says mostly to herself.

“We also need more floor cleaner because I dropped like half a dozen eggs this morning and I had to clean it up with hand soap.”

Chloe nods along as she shoves pancakes into her mouth.

“Also if you want theres supposed to be a pretty cool meteor shower tonight, we could drive down to that field by the old quarry to watch.” Beca goes on as she leans her back into the countertop adjacent to where Chloe sits at the breakfast bar.

“Oooooh, that sounds cool,” Chloe says through a mouthful of blueberries.

She doesn’t notice it, but her pounding headache is gone by the time she finishes her pancakes and Beca has started humming as she washes the dishes.

She doesn’t notice that’s she’s staring at Beca’s arms, mesmerized by the way they move and how the soapy water is running down her forearm and dripping onto the floor.

She doesn’t realize what it is yet, but she feels something new.

A smile forms at the corners of her mouth, she covers it with her coffee mug.

She doesn’t know what it is, all she knows is that it feels right.

————————————————————————————————————

After breakfast they set out to get groceries. At the store, Chloe finds herself in a fit of hysterical laughter at Beca’s jokes. She nearly forgets why she has any reason to be sad today.

The two girls aren’t very efficient when it comes to shopping, but by the time they get home, they realize they’ve forgotten half of the things on their list and they’ll likely be headed out again tomorrow.

Chloe plops down onto the couch with Beca just a few inches away. They watch four episodes of House Hunters, with Beca mocking one lady’s brass obsession, another man’s demand for a man-cave, a single mom’s request for a master bathroom with two sinks, and more until Chloe’s stomach hurts from giggling so hard,

It’s funny how easy it is for Beca to make her laugh.

It’s also funny how this day was supposed to be the worst day of the year, but Beca has somehow made it bearable just by being in it.

It’s funny how Chloe’s reaction to Beca closing the gap between them isn’t that she’s weirded out, but instead she’s comfortable, and finds herself curling into her friend.

Beca notions out the window and mentions that the sun will be setting soon, and that they should get going so they don’t miss it. Chloe packed the trunk full of blankets, pillows, and cooler full of snacks, and a bluetooth speaker. Beca climbs into the driver’s seat and Chloe sits next to her. It’s a 15 minute drive to the quarry, and they fill each moment with singing and laughing.

————————————————————————————————————

Beca has always had things she’s kept from her best friend. Not because she wants to keep secrets, mostly just because they don’t matter and she doesn’t feel the need to bring them up. Then Chloe mentioned that some teenage boy in front of her in line at the grocery store checkout reeked of weed, and Beca couldn’t help but laugh.

“Beca I think I got, like, secondhand high from this kid!”

“Yeah, I don’t think it works like that Chlo.”

“How would you even know? I’ve probably been exposed to more pot just from this one kid than you have in your life!”

“Chloe, there are actually a few things you don’t know about me, believe it or not.” Beca says, looking to her left and catching Chloe’s puzzled look.

“You’ve done weed?” Beca can’t tell if Chloe’s shock is fake or not.

“Well, technically you don’t do weed, but yeah. I stopped pretty much when I got to Barden and haven’t smoked since.”

They’re lying in the middle of the field on top of blankets. Chloe forgot to pack drinks, but she brought cheese and crackers with a Tupperware box full of fresh watermelon. It’s only minutes from sunset, but the cool breeze causes Chloe to put on a big sweatshirt and press into Beca’s side.

“So you were a weedie?”

“What the fuck is a ‘weedie’?” Beca turns to look her in the eye.

“I’m pretty sure that’s what people call people like you” Chloe says.

“Yeah I’m pretty sure you just pulled that one out of your ass because I’ve never heard anyone say that in my life.” Beca says, laughing along with Chloe.

After a few moments of silence as Chloe makes another “cracker and cheese sandwich” (which Beca argues isn’t a sandwich because it doesn’t have any bread,) Chloe looks to her right at Beca.

“Can I try it?”

“You just called me a weedie and now you want to try it?”

Chloe laughs, “Well I mean yeah, why not?”

Beca tries to imagine Chloe getting buzzed. Normal Chloe is already giggly enough, a high Chloe would be like that on steroids.

Now that she thinks of it, this could actually be fun.

“Maybe someday, Chlo.” Beca says.

The sun has started setting, with the clouds forming purple-blue streaks in front of the bright pink background. It’s one of those perfect sunsets that everyone puts on their snapchat stories once they see it. Except that neither Beca or Chloe takes out their phone, instead letting their memories create a picture.

—————————————————————————————————

Chloe feels warm pressed into Beca’s side and sitting with at least 3 blankets on her lap. It’s nearly summer, but lately it’s been cooler than normal California weather. The weather leading up to May 5th always seems to be a bit cold, or rainy, and one time even snowy, but never warm. However, today turned out to be the perfect day, despite what meteorologists were saying on the news. It’s a nice change from previous years, it puts Chloe in a lighter mood. Music plays softly through the speaker in front of them.

Babe, there's something tragic about you, something so magic about you, don't you agree?

Chloe feels a light touch on her hand, and she looks down as if she could see through the blanket covering it. Beca strokes the back of her hand before turning it over and interlacing their fingers.

“Hey”

“Hey” Chloe looks into Beca’s eyes, dimly lit as the sun has been set for a while now.

Chloe looks into the sky, immediately searching for Orion as a habit she has developed over the years.

“Do you know what that one’s called?” She points the star out to Beca.

“I don’t know my stars half as well you you do Chlo.”

“It’s Betelgeuse, my dad told me about it when I was young.” Chloe explains, a smile across her face.

It doesn’t hurt as bad when she has Beca by her side.

Beca strokes her thumb lazily over Chloe’s hand. Chloe turns to her again, looking in her eyes.

And she swear there are more stars in those eyes than there are in the universe.

And then it’s something in her. She begins to close the small gap between them, only Beca meets her halfway, cupping her face with both hands and smiling into the kiss.

Chloe pulls back, smiling at Beca, before meeting her lips again.

“My Betelgeuse.”

**Author's Note:**

> AYYYY this is like my 3rd or 4th fic ever I think so obviously it's pretty rough but I hope you guys enjoy! Leave any feedback because it always helps!!! 
> 
> Also please note that it's 3 am and I haven't read this over and I'm on 3% battery life and there's a huge blizzard outside so yeah this is beta !!


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